A New Fantasy Experience


A Work in Progress — Watchdogs

A new part of WATCHDOGS is up on Cereal Authors!

Cereal Authors

Part 2

High school locker rooms.  Every kid’s favorite place.  The arena to expose our physical flaws to our worst critics like exposing our jugular to a vampire.

I may not be the tallest girl in my class, but I’m gangling enough to pass as a teenage boy if I wanted.  All shoulders and elbows.  Stupid pseudo-ectomorph body type.  My breasts popped out in seventh grade, but quickly gave up the fight against gravity.  Now they are just two medium ski slopes dangling above a small paunch of “baby fat” that refuses to go away no matter how many sit-ups my coaches tell me to do.  I don’t want a six-pack; I just want to be able to button my jeans without lying flat on my bed.

If having attention being called to my body’s disproportions during (not one, but two) gym classes each weekday and giggled about by my…

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When Tis Done – Part 3

Visit Dellani Oakes’s blog to find good reads!

Dellani Oakes

When Tis Done coverJordan, Chase and Marissa are in Jordan’s basement when Brian arrives. It’s evident that there is tension between Chase and Marissa. In fact, Chase manages to hurt her feelings, making her cry. She runs out and Jordan goes to calm her, leaving the boys alone.

Brian punched him. It wasn’t a light, friendly punch that they sometimes exchanged. It was a hard fisted slam, knocking Chase’s breath from his lungs. Brian grabbed his shirt front, pulling him over. Less than an inch from his face, Brian growled at his friend. It was the most terrifying noise Chase had ever heard Brian make. It was base, primal, pure fury.

“Get over yourself, Chase,” Brian rumbled, his anger barely contained. The windows rattled, the floor shook. Curios on the shelves tipped over. “This is nothing, this stupid shit you’re dealing with. I don’t talk about everything that’s going on with me, but…

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Cereal Authors




“Ya know Stella, you’re usually an astute woman but right now you are down to two brain cells and they are limping.  I am only going to say this once so listen closely! You can shove your eulogy! I don’t know the guy. The other tenants aren’t being forthcoming with details except for stuff I refuse to put in a tribute to the dead man. I also don’t have the time for this crap and it’s not my job.”


Pete managed to…

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Join Dellani Oakes on What’s Write For Me at 4pm EST



Cereal Authors’ Rachel Rueben shares Humor and Insight


Humor & Sarcasm In Writing: Examples of Laughter Throughout History


I was asked by Dellani Oakes and Karen Vaughan to participate in a blog series about sarcasm and humor so I decided to find out what was considered funny in literature.  This quest took me way back in time before Terry Pratchett and Mark Twain even before Shakespeare.  I actually found one-liners from ancient Rome, and even further back to the Eyptians.  Below I listed some of what you could call an evolution of humor throughout the ages.  Most of these come from literature, while others are of unknown origins.  One thing to keep in mind is that what people may have found funny in ancient times may have us scratching our heads today.  Nonetheless one thing unites all cultures, people loved to laugh no matter the time or place.  I  really enjoyed researching this subject and hope you enjoy it as well.  So without further ado..

Ancient Egypt:

“I do not see a stoneworker on an important errand or a goldsmith in a place to which he has been sent, but I have seen a coppersmith at his work at the door of his furnace. His fingers were like the claws of the crocodile, and he stank more than fish excrement.”       –Satire of the Trades

Ancient Greece: Aristophanes’ Rant About Modern Poets:

“A disgrace to their art. If ever they are granted a chorus, what does their offering at the shrine of Tragedy amount to? One cock of the hind leg and they’ve pissed themselves dry. You never hear of them again.” –The Frogs

Image via Pixabay


Ancient Rome:

A man is taking care of his departed wife’s burial. Someone asks him: “Who is it that rests in peace here?” The man answers: “Me, now that I’m rid of her!”  –Source Unknown


After his wife had beaten him badly, a man crawled under his family bed. “Come out this instant!” his wife screamed.
“I am man enough to do as I please!” he said. “And I’ll come out when I’m good and ready.”  –Ming Dynasty Tales



CHIRON:  Thou hast undone our mother.
AARON:  Villain, I have done thy mother.

Titus Andronicus: Act 4, Scene 2

Ben Franklin:

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.  –There is debate if Ben actually said this but it’s funny, so I included it.

Mark Twain:

To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was a tautology (redundant).  –St. Louis Post-Dispatch (30 May 1902); also in Mark Twain : A Life

Dorothy Parker:

You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.  You Might As Well Live: The Life & Times Of Dorothy Parker


Dorothy Parker Quote


Douglas Adams:

“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”  –The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe

Bill Bryson:

“I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.”  –The Lost Continent

Terry Pratchett:

“Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It’s the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”  —Eric

Terry Pratchett Quote

So what are your favorite one-liners from history, tell us in the comments section.

Bio: Rachel Rueben is author of YA, supernatural as well as romance books.  Her work can be found her on the Cereal Authors blog as well as Wattpad.  She is also a blogger at Writing By The Seat Of My Pants where she discusses self-publishing and rarely refers to herself in the third person.  😉


It’s Our 5th Anniversary & We’re Celebrating!

Source: It’s Our 5th Anniversary & We’re Celebrating!


Meanwhile, over on Cereal Authors…

Celebrate with Us! More About Stephanie Osborn

Author Stephanie Osborn is a bona fide rocket scientist, as well as an amazing author. She works so hard, I don’t know how she has time to write, but she does. When we first started batting around the idea of Cereal Authors, she was one of the first people I thought of.

stephanie osbron photo

Stephanie’s Bio:

Award-winning author Stephanie Osborn, the Interstellar Woman of Mystery, is a veteran of more than 20 years in civilian/military space programs, with graduate and undergraduate degrees in four sciences: astronomy, physics, chemistry and mathematics, and she is “fluent” in several more, including geology and anatomy. She has authored, co-authored, or contributed to some 35 books, including the celebrated science-fiction mystery, Burnout: The mystery of Space Shuttle STS-281. She is the co-author of the Cresperian Saga book series, and has written the critically acclaimed Displaced Detective Series, described as “Sherlock Holmes meets The X-Files,” and the award-winning, exciting Sherlock Holmes: Gentleman Aegis series. Her newest venture: Division One, her take on the urban legend of the mysterious people who make things…disappear. In addition to her writing, the Interstellar Woman of Mystery now happily “pays it forward,” teaching math and science through numerous media including radio, podcasting and public speaking, as well as working with SIGMA, the science-fiction think tank.

Stephanie’s Interview:

Have you ever, over the years, lost your self in a certain piece (novel) to such a degree your family, friends, and even YOU, didn’t recognize yourself, and if so was it worth it?

I’m afraid I don’t really understand this question. Do you mean was I so absorbed in it that I lost track of the outside world? Sure; my husband learned early on to make plenty of noise coming into a room, else he was apt to have to peel me off the ceiling fan as soon as he said anything.

Or do you mean that I put myself into a novel? Because I put myself into ALL the characters I’ve ever written. I use a theatre technique called “becoming.” I find a facet of my personality, however small, that is appropriate to the character I’m writing (good guy, bad guy, it doesn’t matter), and that becomes the foundation for the character’s personality. Then I build on it, adding layers, until I have as nearly a fully-rounded character as I need for the situation.

Describe your Muse and the working relationship you share.

I don’t know that I really have a muse as such. Or if I do, it tends to be one or two of the main characters of whatever book I’m writing.

Or, What is the longest it has taken you to write a book?

It’s taken me as long as ten years to write a book. My first book, Burnout: The mystery of Space Shuttle STS-281, is about a Space Shuttle disaster, and I was working the Space Shuttle program when I started writing it, and the same scenario (minus sabotage) actually wound up happening to shuttle Columbia (WITH a friend of mine aboard) before I could get it polished and published. All of that has a tendency to mess with your head, and I had to periodically stop and put the manuscript away while I got some emotional distance on things, before picking it up and resuming writing.
On the other hand, it took me two months to turn out the first two books in the Displaced Detective series.

If you had to start your writing career over would you do anything differently?

Oh, my. That’s the classic, “If I only knew then what I know now…” but I didn’t, and I wouldn’t. There’s probably a few things I might have done differently, but I just don’t know. I did the best I could with what I had. I seldom “do” regrets like that. That way just lies discontent with what I have now.

What are your publishing goals? Meaning: Would you like to become a bestseller or just make a comfortable living at it?

Oh, I think, if we’re honest, we’d all love to become a bestseller. That said, I would be very happy making a comfortable living at it. I’m still working on that.

What does your favorite book say to you? What do you feel it might say to someone else? (could be either your own work or that of someone else)

Well, the first trick, for me, is picking A favorite book. I can’t even pick a favorite writer! But I think the books I tend to like, to read again and again, speak to me about potential: both of myself and of humanity as a whole. About where we are, and where we could go. About intellect, its power, and how it must be used for good. And how misusing it can result in some subtly horrifying results.

So the works of Arthur Conan Doyle (notably his Sherlock Holmes works), Ray Bradbury, Asimov, and Heinlein tend to make me sit up and take notice.

To Buy Stephanie’s Books

To Find Out More About Stephanie

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